


I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

by Fangirl_in_distress



Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Coda, Episode Tag, Fights, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Kissing, M/M, Making Up, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23916727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_in_distress/pseuds/Fangirl_in_distress
Summary: Coda to s2e02.Steven is mad at his husband. Sam still remembers what happened to his mother whenever her husband was mad at her.
Relationships: Steven Carrington/Sam "Sammy Jo" Jones
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry in advance. This fandom has too little works and I'm a slut for angst, this oneshot was supposed to be just for myself and yet here I am. Steven might be a little out of character at the beggining, but that's because we all say things when we're angry that we wouldn't say otherwise.   
> JUST TO BE CLEAR: Steven isn't abusive in this, Sam just has bad memories from the abuse him and his mother suffered.   
> Enjoy! ♡

Steven couldn't believe that Sam and his mother would do something like that. Well, actually he was kind of expecting Alexis to try some crazy stuff, but he couldn't believe his husband had been part of that.

He knew the situation wasn't ideal, and he was grateful Sam hadn't freaked out when he first heard of the pregnancy. But that didn't excuse his awful behaviour just now. Or the fact that he tried to blame Alexis for everything, as if he wasn't responsible for his actions.

He was glad Melissa didn't make a fuss out of what happened, because God knows she would have the right to, if she wanted. That had been a massive violation of her privacy. And of the law too, of course.

Being a Carrington, he should be used to these levels of drama, but he really wasn't. And he truly had expect for at least Sam to want to stay away from that drama too, not to start this kind of thing.

He was raised in a house full of conflict and chaos, so he didn't wish the same on his unborn son or daughter. Well, it was an awful way to start it: their grandmother and stepfather doubting their very existance.

He was sitting on their bed, thinking about the crazy events of the day, when Sam walked in.

"Look, I'm sorry, alright?" He said, voice heavy with feeling. "You have every right to be mad and all that, but... I just hate it when we fight." It wan't that he was not aware of how reckless he had been, he just... didn't want that to separate him from Steven.

Steven got up from the bed, feeling agitated. His adrenaline was still high from that clusterfuck and Sam wasn't making it easier.  
"Maybe you should have thought about it before breaking into my baby mother's house." He said. "Seriously, Sam? Why didn't you just talk to me or something?"

"I'm sorry, alright? I already said I was sorry. What else do you even want? It's just... Alexis started with that talk about-" Sammy Jo started, but he was interrupted mid-sentence.

"Stop putting all the blame on her!" He spoke harshly. "I don't care what kind of fucking Peter Pan syndrome you have, believe it or not, you are an adult." He knew his mother could be awful when she wanted to be, but goddamn it, Sam should have known better.

Sam was taken back, not used to his husband reacting like this to anything. He raised his eyebrows.

"I get it, I screwed up, ok? You can be mad all you fucking want, but that doesn't mean you have to treat me like-" He started, but Steven was too pissed to hear it.

"Like what? Like a criminal? Like you're crazy?" He asked, already yelling by that point. "You realize what you did was a crime, right? If you do anything like this again, God help me, Sam, I swear-" It was his turn to stop mid-sentence.

He raised his hand to point his finger at Sam's face, which he later realized was not only a terrible decision but also very childish of him. Not the smartest thing he had ever done, but, well, people did this things when they were mad; they yelled and pointed fingers, they broke stuff and stormed out.

But what made him stop talking was that the moment Sam sensed the movement of his hand he flinched away from it. Hard.  
And not only he did that, closing his eyes as it happened, but he also brought one of his hands to cover his face, trying to protect himself. He was clearly preparing to receive a blow.

Steven felt his heart breaking, could almost hear the sound of it shattering. He would never, _ever_ eventhink about doing something like that. He'd rather die than hurt Sam, especially in that way.

Just the fact that Sam thought he would be capable of such an act, that he would even consider it, already made his heart ache.

Sam slowly opened his eyes, and then slowly lowered his hand again. He was still processing everything that happened in the last minute. He wasn't planing to react like that, but he did.  
Both of them just stood there in a deep, uncomfortable silent for a few seconds, until Steven broke.

"Oh my God, Sam, I'm so sorry. I'd never do that, baby. I'd never lay a single finger on you, never." He sounded absolutely desperate. "You have to believe me, Sam. I'd never, ever hit you, I promise." There was no universe in which Steven would choose to hurt his husband.

Sam shook his head, eyes getting watery without his permission. He didn't want to cry about, damn it.  
"It's fine, Steven. I know that, I swear." He said, turning his body a little so that his lover couldn't see how much that truly affected him. "I'm sorry for reacting like that."

"No, baby, you don't have to apologize for it." Steven insisted. "I'm the one who scared you and I'm so sorry for that."

Sam didn't answer, he just sat down on the bed, clearly fighting back tears. He wasn't sure how to describe what he was feeling, but the rush of emotions made his legs week.

Steven had never felt this terrible in his life. His husband was clearly shaken and it was all his own damn fault.

He would never hit him, under absolutely no circumstances, but the fact that Sam actually thought he could do it? The fact he made his lover afraid of him? It was killing him.

He sat down beside his husband, not too sure of what to do next.  
"I... I don't know what to say." Steven confessed. "Other than I'm sorry, of course." He couldn't imagine anything that would make the situation less terrible.

"You don't need to say anything. You didn't hit me, Steven. And I know you weren't going to do it. You didn't do anything at all." His husband explained. "I'm the one who reacted like a scared little kid. Me being messed up has nothing to do with you." He was trying not to make it a big deal, but it clearly was and they both knew it.

Only then did Steven really realize what this was truly about.  
"Is this... is this because of your father?" He asked, cautiously. That wasn't the easiest of subjects, after all.

Sam nodded slowly, finally losing his inner fight and letting a few tears stream down his face.  
"It's just... you sounded so, _so_ angry." He explained. "I never saw you being this pissed before, at least not at me. So I guess my brain just fucked up and made the connection, because whenever he got _this_ angry..." He trailed off, but Steven knew what he meant.

"He'd hit your mother." He finished the sentence for his lover, realization washing through him.

It just made things a hundred times worse. Not only had he made the love of his life afraid of him, but he brought back traumatizing memories of his childhood. God, he was an awful husband...

"Both me and my mother, actually. He'd always take it out on us." Sam said, quickly drying his tears with his hands. "You know what? Screw this, you were mad at me, you should go on with what you were saying. What I did was terrible and I don't deserve to get away with it just because I'm a fucking crybaby."

Steven couldn't believe what he just heard. No, no, that was just unacceptable, he couldn't let Sam think like that.

"Hey, hey, no, that's not true. You're not a crybaby, you're a person who has both witnessed and suffered abuse." He cupped his face gently.

"Well, I still pissed you off and you have the right to feel that way." He insisted. "My fucked up past shouldn't stop you."

"Sam, please. This is not important anymore, not when you seriously thought I might hit you." Steven decided. "I'm sorry for the way I behaved, you deserve better than that."

Sam let out a weak laugh.   
"I really don't." He said. "You give me a lot of second chances and everything I do is screwing up even more. You were right before, I did something really stupid today which is not your mother's fault, it's mine. You get to be angry about it."

By that point Steven had almost forgotten what the fight was even about. Everything felt insignificant over the severity of him making Sam scared like that.

"I'm not. Not anymore, not after seeing how my anger made you feel." Steven insisted. "Yes, what you did was wrong but me throwing a tantrum won't fix it. I called you immature, but what am I, then? Yelling at you wasn't the most mature way to deal with this either." He had handled that situation poorly from the start.

Sam actually smiled at that, his eyes still watery, but tears weren't spilling from them anymore. He just stayed there, quiet and deep in thought for a few more moments, before talking again.

"I'm not... I'm not really afraid of you, you know that, right?" He explained. "Alright, maybe I was for like two seconds, but that's it. I know you'd never hurt me. That was just... muscle memory, maybe?" His brain was aware that Steven was safe, his body had forgotten it for a few seconds, but that was it.

Steven nodded. He would never blame his lover for being scared, especially knowing what he went through as a child. He knew it wasn't Sam's fault at all.

"It's fine, love, you don't have to explain yourself to me." He promised. " But I'm glad to know you still trust me, even after this. And I promise you I'll never do anything that might be a trigger to you again. I'm really sorry."

Sam held one of Steven's hand in a sweet gesture. He knew his husband was a good man.  
"Don't martyrize yourself, alright? You're nothing like my father, you're not a monster. Belive me, I know the difference." He said. "I have been mad to the point of yelling and pointing fingers at other people before. It's just... something that happens."

He didn't want Steven to feel bad over what happened. They were fighting, it happens to all couple eventually. Logically, he knew he had been safe the whole time.

"I promise you it's the last time it happens between us, alright?" Steve said, still feeling guilty over everything. He knew that if had controlled his reaction a little better, none of this would have ever happened.

"And I'm grateful for that." He said, then pecked his husband's lips lightly. "Now, all of this left me pretty exhausted, so let's just go to bed, alright?" He was more drained emotionally than physically tired, but he was betting a good night of sleep would help him feel better.

Sammy Jo got up and went to get some clothes from the wardrobe, so he could get ready to get to bed, but he stopped all motion altogether halfway there.  
"Something wrong?" Steven asked. He was probably going to be really protective for the next few days, maybe weeks.

Sam slowly turned to face him, just realizing something rather important.  
"You know, it's really fine if you're still mad. You don't need to pretend you aren't." He said, not sure if he really wanted to get those words out. "I can find another room to sleep in."

He would be a little devastated if Steven agreed, but he knew he had been out of line when he broke into Melissa's house. It would be understandable if his husband wanted to be away from him for the night.

Steven frowned at that.  
"What? No, never. That's not what I want at all." He made it clear. "Even if I was still mad, I wouldn't have asked that from you. That's not the way to fix things. Unless... you don't want to be close to me after what happened. Sam, if you're still afraid-"

He got interrupted by a loving kiss. Once they parted, Sam explained:  
"I could never be consciously afraid of you." He insisted. "I love you and I want to stay close to you for as long as you'll let me."

Steve gently caressed the side of his lover's face, happy to hear that.  
"Well, then that means you'll stay right here forever." He answered, making his husband let out a little chuckle. "I love you too, baby. I'm not going to let anything separate us."

**Author's Note:**

> So... yeah. I love Steven and Sammy Jo and I love to breake my own heart. Tittle from the song "Because of you" by Kelly Clarkson.  
> Please, leave a comment or review if you can. ♡


End file.
